


Oops! All Cursed :(

by Camtankerous



Category: HLVRAI-Fandom, Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Beauty and the Beast AU, Idiots in Love, M/M, Photographer benrey, background sodashipping, beast gordon, not tagging gordos because the tags arent separated, protective big brother forzen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-14 05:49:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29165973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Camtankerous/pseuds/Camtankerous
Summary: Who could ever learn to love a beast? Certainly not the guy that may or may not be human himself that's for sure.That's right, it's the Beauty and the Beast Frenrey AU that nobody asked for!I'm not entirely sure what direction I'll be taking this fic in so I'll update tags as I go, but I promise up front to keep angst to a minimum because this is meant to be a stress reliever for me between classes and I want to write the funny half life guys being goofyAnyway this is my first fic don't look at me im embarrassed
Relationships: Benrey/Gordon Freeman
Comments: 111
Kudos: 104





	1. Ooooh prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I want to write more HLVRAI fics in the future but I've never written fanfic before so this is a test drive for me. Please please let me know if the characters sound off or if my writing style is wonky/inaccessible so I can work on that, ESPECIALLY if I should be tagging something that I haven't! I'm new to the tagging system and I don't want anyone to get hurt because I can't read
> 
> Also Cactus if you see this I'm so sorry, I totally am gonna write that borrower au I promise I just got too nervous to message you back and then WAY too much time passed and I just chickened out, I swear I'm working on an outline for both borrower aus

Once upon a time, in a faraway land, a young prince lived in a shining castle. Although he had everything his heart desired, he was impulsive and short-tempered.  
  
But then, one winter’s night, an alchemist came to the castle and offered him a single can of soda in return for shelter from the bitter cold. A little confused but with a giving spirit the prince rejected the soda but offered to let the alchemist stay the night anyway because it was, in fact, cold as shit outside.  
  
The alchemist warned the prince that disrespecting his potions was not appreciated, for beauty was found within. The prince became even more confused because that seemed like a non sequitur but, not wanting to offend a stranger, offered to let the alchemist use the labs and equipment available in the castle.  
  
This was an unfortunate example of the prince’s impulsivity because the alchemist was very powerful but also rather accident prone. After being startled by the rather chaotic castle staff during a key moment in his potion making, the alchemist accidentally cursed the prince and his staff, transforming him into a hideous beast and his employees into household objects.  
  
“Oh dear. That really wasn’t supposed to happen. I’m terribly sorry,” said the alchemist, although he didn’t look terribly apologetic. If anything, he looked a bit excited by the prospect of experimenting to find a cure, sort of like those really nerdy kids when they get a new jigsaw puzzle.  
  
The prince, distraught by his new appearance, concealed himself inside his castle with a magic mirror as his only window to the outside world. The staff thought this was a bit overkill and very dramatic on his part, but they kept that opinion to themselves.  
  
The alchemist was able to confirm that there was a cure, but that the simplest solution would be True Love’s Kiss. The alchemist apologized for making a curse with such a cliché fix and promised to mix up a potion that would fix the spell without the need for any of that gross falling in love stuff.  
  
“I’m sure we’ll be back to normal in no time, Mr. Freeman! I bet alchemists are very good at mixing up solutions.” The human-adjacent-being-turned-wardrobe looked very proud of that pun, but it seemed to go over the prince’s head.  
  
Despite his promises, half a decade later the alchemist was running out of ideas. He was loathe to admit defeat, but the others knew they needed to consider other options. Being a candelabra for this long kind of sucked, even if it was even easier to set things on fire now.  
  
As the years passed, the prince fell into despair and lost all hope, for who could ever learn to love a beast?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is gonna be way more serious, this was just a warmup tbh  
> Also TOMMY LIKES PUNS. you remember the dumb turing/turreting test joke? I do


	2. Fuck farming I do photography now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Benrey has had enough of this provincial life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't have a beta reader so if you see grammar issues feel free to lmk in the comments

In a nearby quiet village, a farmer is left rather disgruntled by his most recent discovery. Forzen stares down at the offending bag of chicken feed, clearly unopened and untouched.

He squints out across the field. It’s already three minutes past sunrise, which means his brother is a whole three minutes late for chicken breakfast. Disgraceful. The chickens cluck pitifully at him, but he remains unswayed. If he keeps doing the chores Benrey forgot, Benrey will never learn.

He heaves a sigh, gravel crunching under his boots as he steps around the side of the house. 

Forzen almost immediately finds Benrey crouched by the flower bed, bulky camera balanced in both hands and pointed down at a sixty-degree angle. 

Benrey is clearly very focused on his work, tongue poking slightly out of the side of his mouth as he stares down at a bee. So focused, in fact, that he does not react to Forzen’s multiple foot taps or the clearing of his throat. 

Forzen finally sucks in a breath to speak right before Benrey beats him to the punch. “If you got something to say just say it buddy.”

Forzen’s permanently squinted eyes narrow even further as he glares at the back of Benrey’s head. “Yea, I’ve got something to say. You were supposed to feed the chickens this morning.”

“What makes you so sure I didn’t.” It’s not really a question, but Forzen answers anyway.

“I finished off the old bag last night, and the new one hasn’t been touched. Quit messing around with your camera and help out.”

“I’m not messin around, I’m taking high quality pics. This little bee is workin so hard to collect pollen bro, I wanna give her a little photoshoot.”

Forzen takes the camera from his hands.

“Ben, it’s about time you got your head outta your camera and paid attention to more important things, like the farm.” He sighs. “My squad is heading out soon, I won’t be here to help you out forever. You need to come up with a plan.” 

Benrey grabs lazily in the direction of the camera, still crouched on the ground. “Yea? Like you did? Your whole plan was to just have the military pay for you to go to school bro. I’m not gonna be a fuckin bootboy.” 

Forzen scowls, his face getting red as Benrey finally stands to snatch the camera back. “Being a ‘bootboy’ is better than sitting around with my head in the clouds! Seriously, it’s not like you do enough around the farm to know how to run it solo.” 

“Mleh mleh mleh I’m Forzen and I love licking boots.” 

“Meh meh I’m Benrey and I think taking pictures of chickens will put food on the table.” 

Benrey gasps in mock offense. “I have never put food on the table in my life. Everybody knows food doesn’t got there, idiot. You’re supposed to put it in the fridge.”

For a moment Forzen’s face gets even redder, but he backs off, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Look. I know you resort to spouting nonsense when you’re upset, so I’ll back off for now. But you really need to consider the future. You can’t just ignore it and hope it’ll work itself out.”

Benrey holds the camera a little closer to his chest as he watches Forzen head inside, calling after him, “Fuck you, I got a plan. I’m gonna marry rich. Gonna get a sugar daddy to buy me a whole bunch of table food so I don’t have to be a sell out like you.” 

Forzen, being the far more mature older brother, only gives Benrey the middle finger over his shoulder in response. If he sticks his tongue out too, well, Benrey can’t see that, so it doesn’t really count, and he still has the high ground. 

Benrey crouches by the bee again, leaning his head on his knee forlornly. “What’s his problem man. I’m gonna feed the chickens in a minute, it’s fine. Not like they’re gonna starve if I take an extra five minutes. I had to take the photos while the light was good.”

Benrey pauses. “He doesn’t even say mleh right.” 

The bee flies off for another flower leaving him alone. He wonders if the bee is also sticking it’s tongue out at him. It’s hard to say. 

It’s fine, though. The soft light from dawn is already turning harsher as the early summer heat starts to set in, and he got the picture he’d wanted anyway. 

He tucks the camera safely into his bag, a couple bubbles of jade to black sweet voice spilling out of his mouth. 

Forzen was overreacting. Benrey had a plan. His plan was to keep taking photos of stuff that he liked and to finally get a console besides his dinky little DS. Like a PlayStation. Maybe even a PlayStation six if he was feeling particularly optimistic. 

Benrey wrestled with the bag of chicken feed, trying to pull open the tab. It’s not like he LIKED having all this uncertainty loom over him. It’s just that it was way easier to keep putting it off and letting it pile up than the face his problems head on. Sure, he wouldn’t have to be anxious about it anymore if everything were all figured out, but he would have to make himself super anxious to do all that when he could just as easily choose to push it to the back of his mind and not be anxious at all. It was a great plan. 

He gave up and grabbed the tab with his teeth, growling in frustration as he tried to rip the bag open. Haha, he was kind of like those little dogs. Chicken food possessive Benrey.

Shaking his head around for emphasis turned out to be a bad idea as the bag opened and he got a mouthful of chicken feed. At least Forzen hadn’t seen that.

Benrey spit the mouthful of seeds out into the pen before dropping a decent amount on top of it. He’d seen one of the hens eat a live mouse before, they would be fine with a little nonhuman spit seasoning. 

Benrey leaned heavily onto the fence, pulling his DS out of his pocket. He’d done his one real life chore for the morning; he had some much more important chores to take care of in New Leaf.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dont worry, hes still mostly motivated by video games. he just doesnt have any consoles at the farm house. very sad
> 
> Forzen totally saw that :(
> 
> sweet voice translation:  
> jade to black - i feel attacked 
> 
> future chapters will definitely be longer and more thought out, I'm just trying to get this posted tonight before I lose the nerve
> 
> please comment even if it just says "mleh mleh mleh" because I am very nervous and I might lose traction on posting future chapters for this fic if no one is visibly interested
> 
> If you've read this far I love you *smooch*


	3. Forzen makes a mistake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is way more Forzen heavy than I thought but I really should have expected that since he is acting as a double stand-in for Maurice and Gaston (because I can't stand Gaston oops lol)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this in one sitting over four hours so it's probably riddled with spelling/grammar errors I'm very sorry!! please please tell me if you see any so i can fix my gay little mistakes thank you

Benrey wasn’t upset. Really, he wasn’t. The bubbles of slate colored sweet voice that he was struggling to swallow as he watched Forzen pack his bag didn’t mean anything.

“It’s just a few nights. The squad’ll be following the forest path to the next town over and then back again. So long as no weird shit happens it’ll be a real easy job.”

Benrey was trying very hard not to be moody but he was finding it difficult to look up from his nails. 

Forzen slung the bag over his shoulder and started to walk past him towards the front door. “Seriously. I know I got on your case a few days ago about not being able to run the farm on your own, but you’ll be fine. Just don’t forget to lock the door at night. You don’t need to stress over this.”

“M’not stressing.”

“Uh huh. Sure.” He places his hands over Benrey’s and pulls them apart. “Stop picking.” Oh. He hadn’t even noticed he was doing that. 

Forzen steps through the door and walks briskly down the steps to the gravel path, setting his pack down by the horse patiently waiting at the bottom. Down the path near the road, two men in outfits matching his are waiting by horses of their own.

“Fuck, I thought I had a little more time. I need to get my bag situated, can you double check Phillipe’s saddle straps for me? He always fills up his stomach and fusses when I try to tighten it.”

“His name is PlayStation.”

Forzen stares at Benrey for a moment, unmoving.

“….Yes. I can do that.”

“Look, just... promise me you won’t do anything too crazy while I’m gone, okay? No sweet voice in front of the townsfolk, no shapeshifting without a good reason, no clipping through walls where people can see you. Please.”

Benrey just hummed in response, paying an excessive amount of attention to the straps so he wouldn’t have to look over.

Forzen gently gripped Benrey’s shoulder. “Remember, it’s just a little scouting mission to get the new guy trained. I’ll be back before you know it.”

“Sure,” Benrey waved a hand half-heartedly at him. “Have fun, make friends, don’t die.”

Forzen swung his leg over PlayStation. “You got it pal.”

Benrey stood there on the steps long after he lost sight of his brother riding into the woods. 

It would be fine. It was just a few days.

~

It was NOT fine. Everything had happened so fast; one moment, Forzen, and the new guy Josh had all been in formation, patiently waiting for Jeffrem to return from scouting ahead. The next, Josh’s horse was acting like she’d been attacked, bucking wildly, and dragging him in tow off into the woods. And of course, that little display had spooked Phillipe, who took off in the opposite direction down a narrow path that Forzen could have sworn wasn’t there before.

And now he was horribly, horribly lost.

The trees here were almost aggressively unfamiliar, gnarled and dark and with canopies so thick that they blocked out the late afternoon sun. And it was so cold. 

Forzen was sure his nervous energy wasn’t helping Phillipe’s state, but being aware of that fact did not magically grant him the ability to not be nervous. He swallows dryly, gripping the reins a little tighter and encouraging Phillipe to continue. 

“Keep your eyes peeled, Phillipe. One step at a time. Just follow the path and we’ll get out of here.” 

He feels a chill run down his spine a second before a swarm of bats bursts out of a tree nearby. Startled in an already heightened state of stress, he feels his fight-or-flight kick in as he spurns Phillipe forward. 

On some level, he’s aware that it’s just bats. It’s not a real threat. But the unfamiliar territory, unidentified objects flying over his head, and the bitter cold work together to create a fog over his reasoning. He almost doesn’t even see the cliff until it’s too late. 

Phillip skids to a stop and bucks, hard, sending Forzen sprawling a few feet away. He stands on unsteady feet, trying to grab at the reins and calm the horse, but a pack of wolves up the hill distract him long enough for Phillipe to make a break for the tree line. A few of the wolves chase after the moving target, but a decent number stay behind, their eyes locked on him. 

He’s honestly not even sure what happens after that; it’s all a bit of a blur. He remembers sprinting away from the tree line and heading for a large brass gate overgrown with vines. He remembers barely slamming the gate shut behind himself in time to stop a pair of jaws from snapping shut on his leg. As he curls into himself just inside the heavy oak front doors of the castle ruins, he also remembers, almost embarrassed, that he has a gun strapped to his thigh that he completely forgot to use.

The most confusing part, though, is that he remembers his beret falling off into the snow. 

Because it was early summer. And there should not be snow. 

As if his body is trying to confirm that, yes, the snow is real, he feels an involuntary shiver just beyond the numbing fog. The fog begins to part as he focuses on his surroundings. 

He takes a gasping breath and counts five things he can see. A surprisingly clean looking rug stretches from the door where he sits all the way up a grand staircase. A large grandfather clock sits off to his left, pressed up to the wall. A little table sits a little further away, slightly dusty with a single lit candelabra resting on the center. The walls feature various pieces of art, mostly of landscapes. He wonders vaguely if Benrey would like those. He looks down. He can see snow on his boots, a thick ring surrounding the rubber soles and a muddy coat sticking to the leather toe.

He takes another breathe, this one a bit steadier, as he counts 4 things he can touch. He gingerly reaches down and touches the snow on his boots. He brings his hand a little higher and feels the course material of the shoestring. He runs a hand over the carpet, then immediately regrets it. He then wipes his hand aggressively on his pants, trying to remove the memory of that awful texture. 

He stands, taking a deep, calming breath. He takes a couple steps into the entryway and tries to count three things he can hear. He can hear his own footsteps, obviously. He can hear either the wind picking up outside or the wolves howling in frustration. And he can hear… 

He can hear voices. They’re muffled, and probably trying to be quiet, but it comes out more like a stage whisper. 

“Poor fellow must have gotten lost in the woods.”

“Shut up! Maybe he’ll wander off and get lost somewhere else instead.”

Forzen tries to discretely hover his hand over his gun holster, scanning the room for the sources of the voices. “Hello? Is someone there?”

“Shhh! Shut the fuck up! Don’t say a damn thing.” 

He tilts his head slightly, following the sounds to the doorway on his left. Unable to see beyond the archway itself, he gingerly picks up the candelabra and takes another step. 

“Look, I’m sorry for barging in. My horse ran off and there’s a pack of wolves out there. Could I stay until morning? Or at least borrow a coat?”

A third, much louder voice spoke up from the shadowy room. “Oh! I have- You can borrow one of my coats! I bet you would look lovely in green.”

If Forzen hadn’t been so exhausted from just coming down from an episode, he might have startled at that. However, he wasn’t too tired to give a strangled yelp when the next voice came from right next to his face.

“Tommy! We are not keeping this bastard. And YOU! Put me the fuck down already. This is dehumanizing.” 

Forzen half-placed, half-tossed the candelabra back onto the table, staring down at the little face that, apparently, belonged to a little brass man. “Holy shit.”

“What? What the fuck are you staring at. Never seen a candelabra before?”

The grandfather clock’s booming voice drowned out whatever response he was about to give. “A candelabra (plural candelabras) or candelabrum (plural candelabra or candelabrums) is a candle holder with multiple arms. Although electricity has relegated candleholders to decorative use-“ 

And then, from the doorway past the clock, a wardrobe waddled into the room, because why the fuck wouldn’t that happen at this point. “Hi, I’m Tommy.”

Forzen sighed. “Hi, Tommy. I'm Forzen. Do you know how he’s saying parentheses out loud like that?”

“Nope. :)” 

“Okay. Um. But-” Forzen is about to ask another question when he cuts himself off with a sneeze.

Behind him, the constant stream of candelabra information pauses. “This word originally- Oh dear! It seems you have acquired the Chilled Debuff! For one PlayCoin I could remove that status effect for you.” 

“I don’t- I’m not sure what a play coin is. I don’t have any of those.” 

The clock frowns at him. “Oh dear. I guess you’ll have to freeze to death. Terribly unfortunate, but it had to happen.” 

Forzen chokes out a noise while the candelabra swats at the clock. “Harold, stop trying to extort him for money. Just let him sit by the fireplace for a few minutes and he’ll be fine.”

“You just- just want to start a fire, Dr. Bubby,” Tommy scolds.

Bubby grins up at the wardrobe as he leaps off the table. “You know me so well!”

“Oh, I do love a good fire. Come along frozen, I’m sure this will help.”

“It’s Forzen, actually.” He finds himself being ushered into a plush chair near an elaborate fireplace. 

“That’s what I said, foster.” Forzen can’t tell if the grin that accompanies this claim is intentionally menacing. 

He decides not to worry about it too much, choosing instead to focus on the pleasant warmth coming from the nearby blaze. 

“Oh, hold on, if you take your boots off, I’m sure Sunkist wouldn’t mind propping your feet up. He hasn’t had a decent belly rub in years.” Tommy is looking down fondly at a footstool that appears to be wagging its tail.

A little overwhelmed and running on autopilot, Forzen wordlessly unlaces his boots and sets them aside, making sure to gently scratch the almost fur-like cover on the footstool as he scoots up to the chair. 

A little teacart rolls up on the other side of the chair. Sitting on top is a teapot along with some (thankfully faceless) teacups. The teapot’s rather severe expression is, thankfully, not aimed at Forzen.

“Are you.. certain. That this issss…. A clever. Course of action, Dr. Coomer?” Of course the clock was also a doctor. Next, he was going to find out the wardrobe was a doctor. And so was the footstool.

Tommy hums in thought. “Do you think Gordon will get upset that Forzen is sitting in his chair?”

“Who cares what Gordon thinks!” Bubby does not look away from the fire. “It’s not like his name is on the damn thing.”

Just then, a door slams open from the back of the room. Everyone in the room freezes, except for Dr. Coomer, who cheerfully calls out “Hello Gordon! Speak of the devil!”

The creature is well illuminated by the large fire roaring nearby. It walks on all fours, balancing itself on massive paws with wicked looking claws. Its eyes are locked on Forzen not unlike the wolves from earlier. He can’t help but stare at the fangs that barely fit in its mouth when it speaks.

“Who is he.” It’s less of a question and more of a growled warning.

“Mr. Freeman! Um. I can explain. He lost his horse and kinda wondered in-“

The beast, Gordon, doesn’t look away from Forzen. “Why are you here?” 

Forzen stands slowly and takes a step back towards the entryway, one hand hovering over his holster while the other is held out in front of himself in a placating manner. “I honestly have no idea. I was riding along the path between my town and the next when my horse got spooked and bolted.” 

Gordon’s eyes flicker to the hand over the holster. In the blink of an eye he’s on top of Forzen, ripping the holster away and flinging it across the room. He slams Forzen down onto his back. “Then why the gun? What’s with the soldier getup?”

Forzen kicks up at his chest, grabbing at the paw holding him down. “It’s- I was just patrolling with my squad! We were just doing basic training stuff, this wasn’t supposed to happen-“ 

“You expect me to believe that? You’ve come here to kill me, haven’t you? Heard tales of the beast living in the old castle and decided to play the hero. Exactly what I would expect from a bootboy.”

“Wha- Why does everyone call me bootboy? I’m not even that dedicated to the job, I’m just trying to graduate!”

Gordon picks him up by the front of his shirt. “So you’ve got a squad out there, huh? I can’t exactly let you go running to them so you can tell them where I am.” 

Forzen holds his breath staring up at the creature and feeling quite a bit like prey.

“Fine. I’ve got an idea.” 

Forzen gets one last panicked glance at the others before he’s carried out of the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was nervous about the characterization, especially of Bubby and Coomer, until my sister yelled at me and said “Oh my god, Cameron, no one cares about the accuracy of characterization. It’s all about the pining” and that’s what got me through this chapter
> 
> also oh my god gman is insufferable to write
> 
> I'm so sorry if the writing is awkward I just wanted to get the exposition done with so I could get to the funny pining momence
> 
> sweet voice translation:  
> grey like a stone means I hate being alone


	4. meet cute momence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Benrey finds a castle with the help of PlayStation. Benrey also finds a really hot guy. Benrey rescues his brother. He is very good at things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so sorry this took so long i wanted to update at least once a week but shit kept happening   
> as always i punched this out in like four hours and i refuse to read my own writing so this is likely full of errors. anyway. hello :)  
> I also maybe had some alcoholic beverage as I wrote. very sorry

Benrey is lying in the field (and definitely NOT singing in broad daylight. Because that would be reckless and silly. Does a singing Benrey make sound if there’s no one around to see the sweet voice?) behind the house when a horse comes tearing out of the woods heading straight for him. 

Benrey scrambles to his feet, grabbing the reins and gently patting the horse’s side as it skids to a stop next to him. He lets out a few bubbles of calming sweet voice and waits for the nervous prancing to subside. 

“Yo, PlayStation, welcome home buddy. Where’s, uh, where’s Forzen? You leave him in the woods somewhere?” 

PlayStation does not respond, because he is a horse. Benrey still politely waits a few seconds just in case. It’s rude to interrupt people.

Finally deciding that he has to take matters into his own hands, Benrey steps up into the stirrup and swings his leg over the saddle. He leans forward and gently pats PlayStation’s neck. 

“Can you lead me back to Forzen? Do a Lassie impression please and thank you?” Benrey pauses again as if waiting for a response, but PlayStation doesn’t hesitate to head back for the forest path. He smiles as he sits back, falling into the rhythm of the horse’s gait. 

~

Benrey was admiring the very nice Halloween decorations and not paying much attention to the route itself so he was surprised when PlayStation pulled up to a stop in front of a large gate. 

(PlayStation, for his part, was also surprised because he hadn’t made it this far with Forzen. Benrey didn’t need to know that though, which worked out pretty well since there wasn’t a way to tell him, anyway.)

He lowered himself from the saddle, approaching the gate slowly. This definitely didn’t belong in the middle of the woods. Who authorized this?

He reached out and shoved the gate, watching with disinterest as it swung open with a horribly discordant screech. He shook his head in disappointment. They put this shit in the middle of the woods and didn’t even keep it up to code. 

He grabbed PlayStation’s reins and was able to lead him just inside the gate before the horse started to pull and buck. 

“Woah, hey, chill? Calm down please.” Benrey let loose a couple blue orbs of sweet voice, but the calming effect only lasted while PlayStation stayed put. 

“Fine,” he sighed, tying the reins to the gate as he shut it behind them. “You’re in charge. Don’t let anybody through the gate without a permit.” 

He made his way up the path, listening to the click of his boots on the slightly overgrown stone path. Fuck yea, he loved that sound. Click click click click. It wasn’t long until the bushes and trees that had previously obscured his vision cleared enough for him to be able to see the massive stone castle at the end of the path.

Resting in the snow near the bottom of the steps is Forzen’s hat. Benrey picks it up and gently dusts it off, trying to ignore the twisty feeling in his stomach. His brother probably just took a long nap here. Never mind that Forzen always woke up at sunrise. It was fine. Don’t think about it too much.

Benrey pushed open the heavy wood doors, stepping onto the rug and knocking the snow off his boots. No more clicking sound. Boooo.

“Hello? Anybody in here?” He glanced around, taking in the dim, dusty interior design. The wall art was nice at least. 

A little annoyed with the lack of responses he’d been getting all day he chose a hall at random to walk down. Forzen had to be here somewhere. 

~

Bubby is glaring down at Harold and Tommy from his perch on a shelf. “Well this is just great, isn’t it. You just had to go and talk to him. Just had to go and tell him to sit in the den and play with the dog and take his boots off.”

“I mean. You’re also the one that told him to sit by the fire.” Tommy hummed. 

“That’s – That’s not the point! We’re talking about you two trying to adopt him and getting him thrown into a cell!” 

“You can hardy blame us for that, professor! He brought it upon himself.”

“Well. I mean. He did bring a gun. You’re not wrong there. But-“

His rant is cut off by an echo from down the hall. “Hellooooooo? Anybody home?”

All three of them stiffen up and turn to stare at the doorway. 

Bubby sucked in a breath. “Oh for fuck’s sake. Another one? Already?”

Harold carefully lifts Bubby from his Tantrum High Spot and sets him back on the ground so he can run over to the doorway. The tiny candelabra leans around the corner to try to stealthily take a peek at the newest intruder. A much larger grandfather clock is fully standing in the doorway just behind him not even trying to be hidden. 

“Oh!” Tommy stage whispers as the figure turns a corner and continues out of view. “Did you see that? It’s a guy!”

“I know it’s a guy. The other one was a guy too.”

“Yeah! :)”

“Excellent investigation skills, Thomas!” Harold booms, immediately making his way down the hall after the stranger. 

Tommy’s wooden face does its best to scrunch up in distaste. “Please don’t call me Thomas.”

Tommy carefully steps around Bubby, following along. Bubby is forced to trail behind with a longsuffering sigh. “Why not? Is that what your dad calls you when he’s mad or something?”

“No. It makes me think of trains though. I hate trains.”

Just ahead, they hear the voice again. “What the fuck. Where the hell is everybody?” 

A beat, and then an answer, “Benrey?”

~

Benrey tries not to make it too obvious how relieved he is to hear his brother’s voice. He walks briskly (but not too briskly) towards the source of the sound. He finds himself face to face with a cell door. 

“Oh yooooo, I found you. Nice.” He smiles warmly.

“No! No, not nice! What the hell are you doing here?” Forzen scowls far less warmly.

“Wha- I’m here to rescue you bro. Gonna get you outta here. Speedrun strats.” Benrey feels a flash of disappointment when the door doesn’t open on the first tug. “Oh shit, gimme a sec, I think it’s stuck.”

Forzen reaches his hands through the bars and tries to shove at Benrey. “It’s not stuck, dummy, it’s locked! I’m locked in here, and the guy that did this to me is gonna be super pissed when he finds out you’re here.”

Benrey pouts up at him, deftly dodging the attempted swipes. “Why would he be mad. I’m super cool. I’m delightful to be around.”

“Just shut up and- LOOK OUT!”

Benrey barely reacts to the large hand – paw? – hand that grips his shoulder and spins him around. He follows the hand up to and arm with an odd, circular scar just below the elbow that sticks out against the dark fur. Trailing further up, he finds himself inches away from a snarling face. 

“Oh hey. Are you allowed to be here?” 

The snarl relaxes slightly as the massive figure leans back and gives a little noise of confusion. “Excuse me? Am I allowed to be here? In my own house? Who do you think you are, walking in here and asking shit like that?”

“Benrey. Is who I think I am. Hello.” Benrey was not flustered. He was calm and cool and collected and was absolutely not staring jealously at the really cool fangs this guy had.

“What are you staring at?” Oops. “Never seen a beast before?”

“Your name please? Manners?”

Again, the stranger seemed caught off guard. Benrey could hear Forzen sigh heavily behind him. He kicks a shoe back at the door to try to tell his brother to quite messing with his very good flirting techniques.

“Um. Gordon. Gordon Freeman.” 

Benrey nods knowingly. “Uh huh. And do you have a permit to lock people up?”

“I- no? Not exactly?” Gordon wheezes out a little involuntary laugh and Benrey tries very hard to ignore the way his heart beats just a little bit faster. 

“Hmm. Gonna have to- Gotta arrest you then. Unless you let him go. Can’t let you break the rules.” 

Gordon frowns. Benrey doesn’t like that as much as the laughing. “I can’t just let him go. He’s a threat to me and the people under my care.” 

“What. What if..” He has an idea. It’s probably a really bad idea, but that’s a problem for future Benrey to deal with. “Uh. What if I take his place?”

“Benrey,” Forzen hisses, “what the hell are you playing at?”

“Shhh, shut- shut the fuck for a second. I’m doing something.” He doesn’t look away from Gordon, doing his best to stare him down despite the height difference. 

“You want to take his place?” For a moment, Gordon seems moved. “Wait. That makes no sense. How would you taking his place make him less of a threat? Wouldn’t that just motivate him to come back and kill us to get you out?”

“Huh? No.”

They stand in silence for a moment. 

“Are you going to elaborate?” 

“Um. He wouldn’t do that if I told him not to.” He turns back to the door. “Hey. Don’t- don’t do that.”

This is perhaps the most longsuffering look Forzen has ever given him. New personal high score. “Are you fucking serious right now? What the hell did I tell you about planning and-“

Benrey shoves a hand through the bars and covers his mouth. He looks over his shoulder at Gordon. “Deal?”

He clenches and unclenches his fists in thought. “You guarantee no harm will come to the inhabitants of this castle if I let him leave?”

Benrey nods decisively. They stare at each other for another moment before Gordon reaches over and unlatches the deadbolt that’s holding the door shut.

Gordon brushes Benrey aside and picks up Forzen by the scruff of his neck like an angry kitten before dragging him out of the room. And Benrey definitely doesn't get jealous. 

~

Gordon wants nothing more than to get rid of this obnoxious little bastard. Who the hell did he think he was, busting into his castle and almost drawing a gun on him? He’s almost too busy scowling to hear the shouted protests coming from the bundle in his right hand. 

“Listen, you don’t have to do this, you can just let him go too, I promise I won’t come back, just let him go-“ the rambling is cut off when Gordon shoves him into the palanquin outside. 

He turns back to the castle, calling over his shoulder, “Take him back to town. I don’t care which. Just get him out of here.” 

He tries not to think too much about the way the pleading becomes almost anguished as the cart hauls its passenger away. 

He makes his way back up the steps to the... what even was Benrey? A prisoner? A guest? It’s not like he had planned on keeping the bootboy locked away forever. How long was he expected to entertain the strange outsider?

He’s so lost in thought he almost runs headlong into Tommy. 

“Um. Mr. Freeman?” 

“What’s up, Tommy?” Of all the castle’s occupants, Tommy was his favorite to talk to. He was the only one that was even close to being eye level with Gordon. He missed talking to people at eye level. 

“Well. If the new guy is sticking around for a while, maybe we could get him set up in a guest room? It’s kinda gross in that tower. And it’s really hard to walk up the steps without real legs.”

Gordon continues down the final stretch of hallway, tapping his claws against each other. 

“Um. Okay. Just give it some thought I guess.” 

He winces. “Sorry Tommy, I didn’t mean to ignore you. It’s just-“ He cuts himself off when he finally gets back to the cell. He wasn’t sure what he expected to see, but it wasn’t this. 

Inside the cell, Benrey is lying upside down with his feet propped up on the wall. When he spots Gordon, he wiggles his fingers in a half-hearted greeting. “I’m trapped. This is a disappointment.” Gordon might think he was being serious from the tone of voice if he wasn’t also kicking his feet like a child. 

Gordon can’t help the bark of laughter that escapes him. He also can’t help but notice the way that Benrey desperately tries to smother a grin in response. Gordon logs that information in his brain and then shoves it into a box in the back of his mind that he likes to call the “don’t overthink it” box. 

“What- what are you doing?” 

“I’m just chilling man.” 

Gordon just nods and tries not to worry too much about what he’s just gotten himself into.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh ym god these bitches gay! good for them 
> 
> me reading my own writing: man this guy just cannot shut the fuck up can he 
> 
> um. thank you for comments i love you. also thank you for reading this far


	5. does this count as playing hard to get

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I want them to flirt so badly but the problem is neither of them can flirt like a normal person and neither can I
> 
> Warning! Spiders are mentioned in this chapter!  
> I like to identify spiders I find in my house so I almost wrote about Benrey doing that but I figured a detailed description might be too much for some people so the most that happens is they say the word "spider" a lot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> super short chapter update because I have lots of homework but I really wanted to post something because I made y'all wait so long for chapter four 
> 
> also once again i wrote this in one sitting and have no beta reader sorry

Gordon tries not to let his nervousness show as he looks over his shoulder for the fifth time. Benrey is still there, smiling blandly and following along. The click of his boots on the flooring echoes loudly around the high-ceiling hallways, setting Gordon on edge. 

“Um. I hope you like it here. You can explore wherever you want, just try not to go into the west wing.” Almost as soon as the words leave his mouth he cringes. 

Benrey, picking up on the show of weakness like a cat spotting a cornered mouse, perks up significantly. “Oh? West wing forbidden? Why’s that? You hiding something?”

“No! No, I’m not- it isn’t- Ugh. Just, don’t go in there? Trust me. It’s not worth it.”

Benrey hums. “Is that where you’re hiding the bodies of all the other attractive guys you lured here before me?” 

Gordon barks out a laugh out of a mix of surprise and anxiety. “Excuse me?”

“Oop. You didn’t deny it.”

“Wha-“ He holds his arms out to his sides, gesturing wildly. “What part of ‘giant terrifying beast’ is supposedly luring people into the castle?”

Benrey looks him up and down with a smirk and he is suddenly very thankful for the layer of fur that hides his rising blush. He waits for the other to speak their mind, but as the silence stretches on Benrey just grins a little wider. “Don’t- stop looking at me like that.” 

“Don’t stop? Okie dokie.” 

Forgetting himself, he places a massive paw over Benrey’s face to block the view. “Knock it off! I’m serious. Quit making fun of me.”

The reply is muffled by the thick paw pad covering his mouth. Gordon sighs and lifts the paw just enough to get a peek at his face. 

Benrey clears his throat and tries again. “I said, I wasn’t making fun of you. You got that, uh, werewolf boyfriend thing going on.” With Gordon momentarily incapacitated by that admission he takes the opportunity to put his hand up against the paw still hovering by his face. Gordon isn’t sure what he was hoping to accomplish with that move, but by the way his eyes light up he apparently managed to do something of significance.

Gordon is floundering to come up with a response when he’s distracted by Tommy finally catching up.

“Oh shit, right. Uh, this is one of my… employees?” He grimaces. Is employee the right word? They’re more like family at this point, but he’s not about to make that admission in front of a newcomer. “This is Dr. Coolatta. He usually just goes by Tommy though.” 

Benrey wastes no time with introductions. “YO. TOMMY.” The volume is almost painful for Gordon’s sensitive ears. 

“Do you. Do you know Tommy?”

“TOMMMYYYYYY.” A couple of bright blue orbs escape Benrey’s mouth and shoot towards Tommy, stopping just short of the wood and dropping slightly before suspending in midair. 

Tommy, for his part, seems unfazed, giving the orbs a cursory glance before looking back up. “Hi.” 

“Woah wait, back up. What- what did you just do?” 

“Huh?”

“The ORBS, man. What the hell is that?”

Benrey smacks his lips. “’S called sweet voice.” He sings out a couple more notes, this time bright yellow, right at Gordon. He flinches back, expecting them to splatter or hit him, but they simply fly right through him as if he weren’t there. He raises a paw to gently poke at one. They have no texture or weight, only giving off a soft warmth and glow. When his paw passes through, he swears he feels a wave of amusement that isn’t his own.

“Oh, Mr. Freeman, I can read that! Gold like the sun means I’m having fun.” 

“You can… read it.” 

Tommy just smiles back. Gordon is too busy overthinking the translation to care about the lack of response. 

“Right. Okay. That’s- that’s great, Tommy.” He blows out a breath and turns back to Benrey. “We’re almost to your room, it’s just at the end of this hall.”

Gordon, on instinct, almost reached out to take Benrey’s hand. He’s starting to think that not thinking too hard about things is a bad idea after all.

Bubby, Coomer, and G-Man were already in the room, doing their best to tidy the room up. (At least, Bubby and Coomer were. G-Man wasn’t doing much to help, but they couldn’t really fault him for that given the circumstances.) 

Gordon took a step back and watched as Benrey stepped into the room and began investigating, clicking his claws together as he waited for a reaction. 

Bubby was far less patient. He turned to Coomer and tried – and failed - to whisper, “This guy? Really?” 

Gordon winced as Coomer responded in an even worse whisper. “Have faith my dear Bubby! I think he could be the one.” 

“What the hell are you two talking about? The one to what?” Gordon asked warily. 

The two straightened up immediately, clearly surprised that they had been overheard. “Shut the fuck- Mind your business.”

“Gordon, it’s rude to eavesdrop.”

He resisted the urge to bury his face in his hands. “Sorry. Forget I asked.”

A flash to his left caught his attention. Benrey, who had previously been inspecting the dresser with the same level of intensity that would normally be reserved for a shark detecting blood, was now holding a camera. Gordon couldn’t help but notice that his tongue was poking out just a little bit as he twisted his arms to find the perfect angle for… something. 

“Uh. Hey, man. What’re you, uh, what do you have over there?”

Benrey doesn’t look up and instead begins twisting his torso. “Spider.”

“A spider?” Gordon leans in to get a closer look, trying to be mindful of his size.

“Gordon, for one PlayCoin I can tell you what a spider is!”

“No- no thanks, please don’t start quoting the wiki page for spiders, I know what a spider is.” 

He tries not to feel bad when Coomer turns a pout on him. Bubby gently pats his side and glares at Gordon. “Then why did you ask what a spider was, dumbass?”

“I didn’t! That’s not what I meant. I was asking why he was taking photos of a spider. Obviously, I know what a spider is.”

Tommy gives him the same kind of indulgent look one gives to a babbling toddler. 

“I don’t- I don’t need this right now. Just. I’m gonna go. You guys have fun.” 

Coomer not-so-subtly clears his throat and grabs Gordon’s arm as he passes. He tries to tilt his head to indicate Benrey, but he just sort of winds up nearly falling on his side. As Gordon props him back up, the clock harshly whispers, “Dinner, Gordon.”

“Huh? Oh. Oh! Yes. Um.” He straightens up and turns to their guest. “Come downstairs in a few hours for dinner.”

“Uhhhh…. No.” 

Gordon blinks. “No?”

Benrey gives him a sideways glance before turning back to his work. “Yea, no. Don’t tell me what to do.”

“I’m not- I wasn’t trying to boss you around. I’m just saying come down for dinner when-“

“Yea? Then why are you still telling me what to do? Gordon Bossyman.”

Gordon stares at his turned back for a few minutes. He takes a deep breath and slowly lifts his hands up. “You know what? We’ve all kind of had a long day. I can’t- I’m not gonna-“ He exhales again, forcefully, and decides not to dig the hole any deeper, heading back out into the relative safety of the hallway. 

As he hears the conversation fade behind him, he does his best to shove down a feeling of disappointment that he can’t explain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'mcrying these bitches dumb as hell (im bitches)
> 
> gman is banned from talking this chapter because writing him gives me a headache
> 
> Sweet voice translations:  
> Robin’s egg blue means who the heck are you  
> Gold like the sun means I’m having fun
> 
> i can't believe I forgot to say this previously but you can find me at catboy-dr-freeman.tumblr.com  
> feel free to come yell at me or whatever I am always looking to make new hlvrai friends


	6. Weird Science by Oingo Boingo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darnold wants to make science. Gordon wants to talk about boys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God I'm so fucking sorry, I know this update is super late, and it's also a short one, but I'm planning on having the next update finished and posted tonight.   
> Also also very sorry about the accidental cliffhanger on the last update, I realized a little late that it sounded kinda angtsy, I promise Gordon is just a Dramatic Bitch

Darnold considered himself a simple man. Sure, he lived in a castle, and he had all the resources an ex-prince could provide him, but that didn’t mean he was anything like those stuffed court alchemists back home with their opulent labs and bountiful gardens full of ingredients. He was just borrowing all of this. To help people, no less. 

He also considered himself a diligent worker, so when Gordon stomped into the room, he felt a little put upon. With a sigh, he set the flask he was currently working with on one of the emptier side tables so that it wouldn’t get mixed up with the twenty-seven other experiments he had going. 

“How can I help you, Dr. Freeman?” He was aiming for pleasant, but it probably came off more like a strung-out retail employee greeting a particularly troublesome regular.

Gordon paced across the room a couple times, humming a note that steadily got louder and more agitated, before pulling to a stop and turning to Darnold. “I just- I don’t get what his deal is! He’s so hot and cold. Like,” He grasped his face with his paws, smooshing his furry cheeks over the fangs that were just a bit too long to fit in his mouth, “Okay, so, one minute, he’s flirting with me, right? But then I invite him to dinner and he totally blows me off. What’s up with that?”

Darnold turned back to his (sadly nonalcoholic) flask. This was not worth stopping his work. “Well, are you sure he was flirting with you?”

“He said I had a ‘werewolf boyfriend’ thing going on. Who the hell says that when they’re not trying to flirt?”

His face scrunched in displeasure. “Who the hell says that at all?” He paused, then hummed thoughtfully. “Maybe he’s just trying to flatter you into letting him go. I guess it’s not the _worst_ tactic, but I wouldn’t put anything past a soldier.” 

“Oh, shit, yea. I totally forgot. Sorry.” Gordon walked over to a table and began fiddling with a sheet of notes. “The others all came to check out the new guy, so they already know, but it’s actually his brother staying here now.” 

Darnold reached out to smack Gordon’s paw away from one of his trays of samples without looking up. “His brother is staying here? How on earth did that happen?” 

Gordon pouted and held the paw to his chest, rubbing it gently. “I don’t know! It all just sort of happened?” He sighed and balanced himself precariously on one of the wooden chairs that wasn’t acting as a shelf to a pile of notebooks. “He barged in and asked me to let the bootboy go, and when I said no, he offered to take his place.” 

Darnold stilled. “He - he offered to stay?” Gordon made a sound of affirmation, inspecting his paw as if he could see a red spot beneath the thick fur. “And he’s flirting with you?”

“I mean, I thought so! But now he doesn’t want to have dinner with me, which makes no sense.” Darnold felt his heart momentarily seize as a bottle narrowly avoided being knocked to the floor by Gordon’s wild gesticulating. 

“Don’t- oooh my god, please don’t knock those over.” He stepped briskly over to Gordon and began ushering him to his feet. “Why don’t you get the magic mirror from the cabinet over there and show me what he looks like?” 

Despite the size difference, Gordon dejectedly went along with the shoving and carefully shuffled to the back wall. Darnold had no idea how long it had been since he’d organized in there, so that should at least keep him busy while Darnold got the centrifuge prepped. 

He’d barely gotten a few tubes secured when Gordon shouted in triumph.

“Hah, found it! Oh shit-“ Darnold shut his eyes as a couple of loud crashes and the distinct sound of shattering glass came from behind him. “Oh. That’s. I’ll get someone to clean that up in a second. Don’t- just, stay over there for now?”

“Of course, Dr. Freeman. Don’t worry about sending anyone, I’d rather do it myself,” The centrifuge would have to wait. He tried to hide his disappointment; He liked watching the samples go apeshit. 

“Oh. Okay. If you’re sure.” Darnold watched wearily as Gordon stepped gingerly over the broken glass, gently kicking the bigger pieces towards the center of the mess. He held the mirror out between himself and Darnold, stooping low to allow the man beside him to see. He cleared his throat self-consciously and demanded, “Show me Benrey.” 

Darnold squinted and leaned in. The lens was unfortunately small, but he managed to make out the shape of a man lying on the bed with his head hanging over the edge. Darnold tried to stifle the blush he felt creeping up his cheeks when he noticed Tommy was also present. 

Tommy was great. He side-eyed Gordon. Tommy had never broken his flasks.

The man, whom he assumed was Benrey, tilted his head to look up at Tommy. “I’ve got a question for you, friend.” 

“O-oh, yeah? I’m happy to help,” Tommy replied.

“So, uh,” he smacked his lips, waving his hands in Tommy’s general direction vaguely, “you’re a wardrobe, right?”

“Uh huh.”

“And. Um. And the teapot is your dad?”

“Yeah. He goes by G-man.” 

“Right. Nice.” Darnold wasn’t sure, but he thought Benrey might be blushing. It was either that or he was turning red from being upside down. “Um. So, if he’s your dad, shouldn’t you be, I dunno, a teacup?” 

Tommy blinked down at him slowly. “I’m adopted.”

Oh, Benrey was definitely blushing now. “Oh. That’s cool, bro.”

As the mirror’s image cut out, Darnold was starting to understand what kind of person would use the words ‘werewolf boyfriend’. It also didn’t escape his notice that said werewolf boyfriend was staring at the mirror with a surprising look on his face.

Gordon set the mirror down with a heavy sigh and ran his paws through his hair. “I just… How the hell do you talk to a guy like that?” 

Darnold glanced over at one of his notebooks that documented his unsuccessful attempts at a cure. “Well, we could always give him the potion that makes people taller.” 

Gordon looked over, bewildered. “What? How would that help?” 

“If he were taller, you’d be able to talk to him at eye level and see his expressions better. That might help. Plus,” he struggled to keep an air of innocence, “It would be easier to kiss.”

Gordon sputtered. “I- excuse me? Who said anything about kissing?”

Darnold allowed a bit of smugness to bleed into his smile as he gently patted Gordon’s arm. “Oh, you didn’t have to say anything, Dr. Freeman. I could tell just from looking at you. Besides, if he really offered to stay and is actively flirting with you, even if his method is terrible, then you might have a chance.”

He narrowed his eyes and glared down at the mixologist. “What happened to thinking true love’s kiss was a stupid solution?”

“I just think you shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth. Besides, any scientist worth his soda would at least try experimenting a bit before dismissing the hypothesis.” 

“Uh huh. And this new opinion on love has nothing to do with a certain castle resident, right? Maybe the one that likes to listen to you talk about potions for hours-”

Now it was Darnold’s turn to splutter as he desperately tried to reach up and cover Gordon’s mouth. “I don’t- I have no idea what you mean. I’m a man of science. I- I have a lot of work to focus on, Dr. Freeman. If this doesn’t work out, you’ll still need a cure.” He began herding Gordon out of the room hurriedly. “It’s for the best if you just go get dinner by yourself and think about what I said. You’re being terribly distracting.” 

Gordon decided to be merciful and let himself get shoved out of the room. “Sure. Right. I’M the distraction.” He suddenly looked a little more nervous, clicking his claws together in thought. “Hey Darnold?”

He gave a noncommittal hum as he continued pushing.

”Maybe, I don’t know, go ahead and make that potion? The - the one that makes you taller. Just- I don’t think we’ll- I’LL. I don’t think I’LL need it. But. Just so it’s here.” He was rapidly collapsing in on himself as he rambled. “You know. Just in case.” 

Darnold put his hand on the door and gave his best customer service smile. “Of course, Dr. Freeman,” he chirped indulgently, swinging the door shut before collapsing with a sigh.   
He turned back to the centrifuge, rubbing the back of his neck idly. Was his crush really so obvious even Gordon had noticed?

…Oh god. Was he as obvious about his crush as Gordon was?

He tapped his nails on the table, idly inspecting his lightly chipped nail polish before straightening up with determination.

Best not to worry about that now. It was time to watch some samples go apeshit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this whole thing in an hour while I ignored my online class. I am a good student. 
> 
> Anyway if you want to yell at me for not updating or you want to send me Funnie Images you can do so at catboy-dr-freeman on tumblr :]


	7. Soup mug :]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Forzen tries to get a grip. Benrey gets a makeover. Gordon tries something new. 
> 
> Warning: The Forzen bit at the beginning is a little angsty. I tried to lighten it as much as I could, but as an older brother myself it was kinda hard to write that part without letting it spiral

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAHA. THE REST OF THE CHAPTER IS HERE. I can't believe you all doubted me.  
> anyway, i got progressively more out of it as the chapter went on, and i refuse to proofread, so I apologize in advance for the errors that undoubtedly escaped my notice. thanks for coming to my ted talk :]

Forzen didn’t think he’d ever been more pissed off in his entire life. Not even the time Benrey decided to let Forzen know he learned how to shapeshift by inviting him to a tea party, hiding in the closet, and then bursting out and scaring Forzen so bad he cried.

He’d been fourteen. Crying at that age over something your sibling does is particularly scarring.

He curses as his foot catches on yet another overgrown root. It would be a lot easier getting back to the farm from town if he had his horse, but he’s pretty sure he saw Philippe standing in the field when they passed, so that’s not really an option. 

At least none of the townsfolk saw him get launched from an enchanted carriage onto the pavement. They were already suspicious of him and Benrey, and he really didn’t need to attract any more heat to their situation. 

Except… Except they wouldn’t be much of a threat if Benrey was already… if the beast had…

Forzen squeezed his eyes shut and stopped moving, breathing deeply. He pushed those thoughts aside and tried to focus on his blistered feet instead. Why had he listened to a bunch of talking furniture and taken his shoes off in hostile territory, anyway? Such a stupid mistake.

...He’d made a lot of mistakes in the last day. 

He opened his eyes again and tried to push forward. He was at least halfway back to the farm. 

Near the one third mark he’d given up on trying to walk normally. He was cold, and tired, and the guilt was eating him alive. He dug his fingers into his arms where they were crossed tightly over his chest to try to ground himself. 

No time to stop for a breakdown. Not when Benrey needed him. 

He ducked his head against the cold night air and mechanically placed one foot in front of the other. He wasn’t sure if his sock was wet with water or blood, and, to be honest, he didn’t really want to know right now. 

What the hell had Benrey even been thinking? Sure, it was Forzen’s fault for getting captured in the first place, but how the hell did Benrey find him? And why offer to take his place? 

He felt his throat tighten just a little. Was it because of the fight they had? Had he really driven his only family away? 

He hissed a breath. Stop it. Stop thinking like that. _Benrey was trying to protect you, the same way you’ve always tried to protect him. And you both know he can do things no normal human can._ He winced. _Even if it isn’t always on command._

He unclenches his hands a little. Yes, he had made mistakes. He should’ve stayed where he was instead of following the path. He shouldn’t have gone inside that castle. He also probably shouldn’t have tried to draw his gun, but he was feeling less guilty about that one. The guy did rush him, after all. 

He had made some mistakes. But he could fix this. He could still get Benrey back. He just needed some supplies.

And maybe… maybe some backup wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. 

He would just have to make sure they didn’t find out what Benrey was and hope that he was okay until help arrived. 

~

Benrey was experiencing the worst agony of his life. He just had to go and open his big stupid mouth and say big stupid words and miss out on big stupid dinner with big stupid cute guy.

Benrey was lying facedown on the bed and yelling blue to plum sweet voice into the pillow. Tommy, still by the bed to offer support but no longer standing over him, was trying very hard to turn the pages of a rather thick book with his wooden arms. 

Benrey turned his face to the side slowly, letting the last couple bubbles drift away and up towards Tommy. “Whatcha readin?”

He didn’t look up from where he was dejectedly shoving the pages back and forth in chunks of three or four, unable to get just one. “Uh. It’s the OSHA handbook. I’ve gotta- I want to make sure the room is- is compliant with protocol.”

“Nice. You want some help with that?” 

Tommy sighed, pushing the book away from the edge of the table. “No, I already know the book by heart. I just like to make sure.” He turned to Benrey, visibly brightening. “Oh! Do you – can I give you some new clothes? It’s been so long since I’ve gotten to dress anyone up!” 

“Oh hell yea, barbie time. I love new things.”

“Great! I just need you to stand over here – thank you – and I’ll start taking measurements. Don’t worry, I don’t need to make the clothes from scratch. Being a magic wardrobe has it’s perks sometimes. Hold your arms out please?” 

Benrey complied, trying not to wiggle too much as he got lightly brushed. He wasn’t sure how Tommy was able to work so quickly with the measuring tape when a book had given him a hard time, but he wasn’t about to ask after the whole ‘why is your dad a teapot?’ thing. 

“So. Uh. Why haven’t you been able to do this for so long?” 

“Well, I mean, most of the people living here aren’t exactly human shaped – can you turn to the side? – and the ones that are don’t tend to let me dress them up very much.”  
“Gordon doesn’t let you dress him up?” He leaned to the side so Tommy could measure his legs without bumping their heads together. 

“Not… not as often as he used to.” Tommy hums sadly as he gets to work on inspecting the fabric of his current outfit. “I think he’s pretty self-conscious about his appearance still. Sometimes he let’s me put him in nice clothes and he holds little parties, but I can tell he doesn’t like being the center of attention anymore.” He turns Benrey around and takes a couple more measurements of his torso. “Darnold doesn’t let me dress him up at all. I offer, but he always gets all – he runs away really quickly.” 

“That’s lame. Dress up is the best. Forzen would always try to come back from him trips with little gifts, ‘cause he knew how much I loved soft clothes, and I’d do a little fashion show.”

“Oh! That’s a great idea! You can show off your new outfit to – to the others!” Benrey was pretty sure that wasn’t Tommy’s natural stutter but rather him stopping himself from saying something else, but he decided not to push it. If they all wanted a fashion show, who was he to deny them? 

Tommy turned him back around. “Alright, I think I’ve – that’s all the measurements I need for now. You said you like soft clothes, right?”

He could practically feel his pupils expanding with excitement. “YES. Please and thank you?”

Tommy beamed.

~

Gordon stared down at his soup, just barely paying attention to Bubby as he ranted to Coomer. The spoon refused to fit between his claws and kept popping out like soap, but he was too sad to find it funny. 

Maybe it was a little bit his own fault he was eating alone, but to be fair, he hadn’t meant to be bossy. He’d just wanted to make sure Benrey knew food was being offered to him as well. He’d even arranged for dinner to happen in the smaller dining room connected to the kitchen so it would seem less intimidating. 

He starts trying to pick the bowl up gingerly, balancing it on his massive paw pads. He’s careful to keep his claws extended away from the porcelain; he learned his lesson well enough last time. 

“I’m telling you, Harold, it’s never going to work.” He nods his head towards Gordon. “Have you seen this one?”

“Hey.” Gordon growled sharply, lifting his head. “I’m not. I don’t know what you’re referring to, but I take offense to that.” 

Bubby just gave Coomer a pointed look and held his hands out towards Gordon in a ‘see what I mean?’ gesture. Gordon’s eyebrows furrowed, but he wasn’t about to dig whatever hole he was in any deeper. For now.

“Bubby, dear, be reasonable. You heard them earlier, bickering about beetles. Didn’t it remind you of us when we were younger?”

Bubby swats wildly at the arm Coomer tries to put around his tiny brass shoulders. “Absolutely not! I had way more game than he does! Don’t you remember the time I made you a slideshow of pictures of us and gave you that ring? THAT’S romance. These two blockheads would be lucky if a decent pickup line shot them in the ass.” 

Gordon held his breath as the bowl wobbled slightly. “You made him a slideshow of photos?” 

Bubby’s candle fires flared a little brighter. “I didn’t – that’s not the point! Me making a slideshow is all you got from that conversation?” 

He clenched his teeth as he hurriedly placed the bowl down before it could spill onto the table. “What? Sure.” 

“God, why do I even bother,” he muttered, turning to Coomer with an agitated look. “You’ve gotta pick me up and take me to a different room, I can’t watch this anymore. It’s like the live feed of a depressed panda in an underfunded zoo.”

Coomer scooped him up happily and began walking towards the hall. “Would you like to see a live feed of a happy panda?”

“You know what? I would, actually. I love it when they roll around on their backs and stick their paws in the air.”

“Wonderful! With the help of the internet I’m sure I could – Hello Boper! Are you looking for Gordon?”

Gordon’s head snapped up, but whoever Coomer was addressing must have been just around the edge of the doorway. A mumbled, monotone response that Gordon couldn’t quite hear was given, and then Coomer was shouting again. 

“If you make up your mind, he’s sitting in there like a depressed panda!” 

Gordon ran a paw over his face as he watched Coomer carry Bubby away. A moment passed, and just as he was about to assume whoever had been there had gone back the way they came, a head popped around the corner. 

“Uh. Sup. You enjoying dinner?”

“I – Yeah. It’s – yeah. There’s plenty of food here if you want to join me. You’ll have to get a bowl yourself though, sorry.” 

“Dope.” Benrey stepped into the room fully, and Gordon was absolutely blindsided by the sight. 

He was wearing fluffy black socks with purple spider webs that went up to his mid-calf, and a thick-looking black cotton skirt that went down to just about his knees. The waistband of the skirt was a rich blue, and a little bow sat on his left hip. 

He was also, inexplicably, wearing a t-shirt that read ‘This is what a gay gamer looks like’ in bold letters. 

Gordon held in a snort, but only because he didn’t want Benrey to think he was mocking him wearing a skirt. In fact, he kind of wanted to offer to paint Benrey’s nails or something in case he was worried about the kind of reactions he would get, but nail polish would be even harder than maneuvering a spoon. 

Maybe he could just offer to let Benrey pick out one of his old colors to borrow. Unless that was too forward. Is borrowing nail polish anything like borrowing a boyfriend’s hoodie? He knew it was a bad idea to use someone else’s makeup brushes but he didn’t think nail polish worked the same way. 

He’d been so lost in thought he didn’t even notice Benrey sitting down next to him until his feet were in Gordon’s lap. 

“Wha- huh? Hello?”

“Check it out. The bottoms. They got, uh… toe beans on em. For not slipping.” 

Gordon very politely glanced down and saw that, yes, there were a bunch of little dots of slipper gripper material on the bottom. He nodded, trying not to move too much. “That’s – it’s – they’re nice.”

Benrey removed his feet and tucked them under his own chair. Gordon wasn’t sure if he was more relieved or disappointed. Or maybe just flat out flustered. “Thanks. Got em from Tommy. They got little, uh, spider pals on em. Like Gilbert.”

“G-“ Gordon coughed. “Gilbert?”

“Yup. My roommate. He loves makin webs. Graphic designer.” Benrey picked up his own spoon and started swirling his soup idly. 

“Oh. Oh! The spider you photographed. You named it?” Gordon glanced down nervously at his own bowl. He didn’t really want to make another attempt in front of Benrey.

“Yea, we’re best buds now. He offered to let me have some of his dinner, but I said I had something else going on tonight.” He smacked his lips. “Told him I had to make a kick ass dinner for this guy I invited over.” 

Gordon snorted, watching Benrey make shapes in the broth. “You did, huh? Is that why you turned down my invitation, too?”

“Huh? What are you talking about. I invited you to dinner.” He looked up at Gordon with a deadpan expression. “Thank you for coming to my dinner?” 

Gordon couldn’t hold in a laugh that time. “I – HAH – your dinner? This is literally my house. We’re sitting in my dining room, using my bowls, to eat the dinner I invited you to.”

Benrey looked around as though he was seeing the room for the first time. “Hmm… no. Pretty sure I made this dinner.” He gently nudged Gordon’s bowl towards him. “Eat the dinner please? I worked hard on it. Tell me how good it is.” 

“I – uh…” Gordon could hear the waver in his voice but was powerless to stop it. He looked down at the bowl and hesitantly reached for it, trying to nudge it gently. 

Before he could get too far, Benrey placed a hand over his, stopping him without using any real strength. “Hey, man, if you’ve got like, things about food or eating, I get it. I couldn’t eat in front of people for like a whole decade. It’s cool.” 

Gordon tried not to think too much about the hand gently warming his paw. “I – wow. No, that’s not – I appreciate it, for sure! But, uh…” He brought his hand up to rub the back of his neck, careful not to jostle his other arm for fear of Benrey pulling away. “It’s… kinda hard to use silverware like this. You know,” He flexed a couple claws for emphasis.

“Oh.” Benrey looked at the bowl, then glanced over at the shelves of dishes. Gordon would almost think he’d lost interest, except he stood suddenly and marched over to the mugs. He inspected a few, clicking a blunt nail against them and testing their weight. He finally seemed to settle on one and brought it back over to the table.

Before Gordon could ask anything, Benrey shoved the mug into his paws. “Can you hold that one alright?” 

Gordon looked down in concentration and carefully looped a thumb through the handle. It was one of the larger mugs that he’d used for coffee when he pulled an all-nighter, and his thumb fit surprisingly well despite the changes. It stayed put even when Benrey pulled his hands away.

“Huh. Uh, yea, I can. Wow. But what does this have to do with silverware?” He watched as Benrey whisked the bowl of soup away alongside the mug and turned to the sink. He tried to glance around him as he worked, but Benrey’s back was blocking the view. 

After a moment, he turned around and shoved the mug back into Gordon’s hands. On reflex he looped a thumb back through the handle and took it. Upon noticing the surprising warmth, he looked down to see it full of soup. 

“Soup mug.”

Gordon startled when the silence was broken. “Huh?”

Benrey pointed to the mug. “Mug of soup. For sipping.” He held his hands up and flexed his fingers like claws. “No silverware.” 

“I… holy shit. Thank you. This is so smart. How did you come up with this?” 

He walked back around the table and perched on his seat, a slight and rather smug smile on his face. “I uh, used to do that for Forzen, when he was sick. It’s a lot easier to hold the mug and soak up the warmth through your hands, and you can sip it without spilling.” 

Gordon just stared at him as he turned back to his soup, seemingly oblivious to the enraptured stare he was receiving. 

Slowly, he turned back to his mug, and gripped it just a little bit tighter as he thought about how the warmth from the soup felt an awful lot like when Benrey had touched his paw.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my god even I couldn't handle how gay these guys got at the end. I thought /I/ was bad
> 
> as always, comments fuel my writing, and if you see an error feel free to tell me
> 
> Shout out to Nix and Kat for giving me ideas! Esp with the outfit :3
> 
> Sweet Voice Translations:  
> Sapphire to plum means I did something dumb


End file.
